I am S. Ben Qayin. Since my first book “Volubilis Ex Chaosium”, many Magicians have asked me what it is I believe, or what branch of The Left Hand Path I tread. I believe this quarry comes from the wide range of topics I have written on, practice and study. These occult subjects include Lovecraft’s infamous ‘Old Ones’, ‘Solomon’s dark Djinn’, ‘Blood Magic’, ‘Necromancy’ and ‘Vampirism’. Not to mention, more subjects to come.
One may ask, “How is it that one can practice such varying forms of Black Magic at the same time ?” My answer is one that is based on the foundation of my entire understanding of my reality that I inhabit. Note I say, ‘My Reality’. It is my belief that everyone creates their personal individual realities within one consensual reality matrix. In other words, what I believe or practice operates on an individual level that may or may not relate to others personal reality, which depends on their own concept of reality and what they permit to exist within its confines. It has been said many times by great Magicians that ‘Belief is key to the success of any magical operation’, there is a reason for that. If one does not believe in their own ‘reality’ it does not become just that, a ‘reality’. Simple enough, though one of the biggest overlooked principals in Magic.
Now that that is understood, I can explain my serpentine trail along the thorny path of Nod. In my reality, there are two forces that rule this consensual reality, they are ‘Chaos’ and ‘Order’. Since the creation of this consensual reality, these forces have been warring against each other. They both hover about an equality, but will never be in a place of Tao, or perfect balance, as it is not in their nature. Their nature is to completely dominate the opposing force, which of course can never be completely accomplished. They are as two palms pressing together as hard as possible, coming close to balance, but eternally wavering. In these fluctuations the repressed side must draw upon more energy and push back even harder, in turn pushing the oppressing side into a dominated position, which then causes it to draw upon more energy to push back, and the cycle goes on. We can see this cyclic tide in the reflection of human history and Nature itself.
These opposing forces, Chaos and Order are intelligent, and manifest in many forms. Some of these forms we recognize as various deities, stemming from all cultures. Order has representatives such as Yahweh, Allah and Buda, while Chaos has Satan, Iblis and Mara. These are only a few examples of incarnations of course. Though entities such as Iblis and Satan differ, they both share the same root in Chaos. Picture many rivers stemming from one source of water, or a dragon with many heads, but one body.
So from understanding this basic model, for me to be able to study one branch of magic and then another, is natural and not contradictory. However, if one were to practice rites centered around Chaos while at the same time preform rituals connected with Order, generally disastrous effects will be had. The reason for this, is not only are the deities we encounter in ritual of the body of Order or Chaos, but so too are we. Therefore crossing these polarities will damage the Magician, not empower them. One cannot walk a line down the middle of both polarities, if this is stated, the Magician is confused and in denial of their natural polarity or calling.
This concept was taught to me by a great and wise Black Magician, and once realized by myself, a piece of the elusive puzzle to my ‘world view’ was set in place. We are either born of Chaos or of Order, the two energies do not mix. As well, one does not choose their polarity, at least not once they enter into the material plane. You have most likely known those who were studying operations of Chaos (Black Magic) only to touch something real and run back in mad terror to the safety of Jesus or whatever white light/Order God they were truly born to align with. However, if one has the same experience, feels at home inside, and then goes on to repeat it or study more, they have found their ‘polarity’. Some Black Magicians have tried to ‘quit’ Black Magic, turn a new leaf, get out of the ‘dark’, and be a good Christian…only to find the new practice hollow and repulsive no matter how hard they try to go along with the teachings. We all have a polarity, and if we are in tune with it, we will know what side we are on, and what deities that we connect with.
This has been a most confusing subject for many, especially those who have only just begun their journey upon the Great Path. I do truly hope this piece sheds some light on the situation of Order and Chaos…however I will remind you of my words…this is my understanding, of my reality. I believe, therefore it exists. It is a self-evident truth in my eyes, and because of that, I have been able to direct my life along the lines I see fit, rather than just go along with the general flow of the consensually reality matrix. That is what makes a Magician or ‘Reality Hacker’ truly what they are. You must find your truths, and most importantly what you truly believe about the existence you are experiencing. As the old Greek aphorism goes, “Know Thyself”.
I am officially available for consultations with Become A Living God. If you would like to learn the uncensored truth about yourself, I invite you to book a tarot card reading with me. I deploy an extremely penetrating spread called Simita Autem Chaosium, that will reveal intriguing insights about you, in a way nothing else can.